not serious enough
Zombies. Yes zombies. Hoards of undead roaming the countryside, devouring all who stand in their way. According to Statistics Canada 93% of Canadians not only don't have a Zombie Apocalypse Plan (ZAP), but haven't even thought about what to do when the dead rise. Having a ZAP has many steps, and requires constant upgrading and tweaking. Zombie breakouts happen every week, they are supressed and covered up, but eventually one will break out and spread world wide.
STEP 1- Be ready
When the Zombie Apocalypse (ZA) happens, a little preparation goes a long way. A few saved moments here and there can mean the difference between life and death. A Bug Out Bag (BOB) is a must. This is a bag that you have packed with enough supplies to last you the first 24-48 hours on the road. Your BOB should include
Emergency Rations. Freeze Dried is OK, but military surplus field rations are ideal (MRE for U.S. Army, IMP for Canadian, and comida de combate individual diaria para soldados in Mexico, if you are outside North America check with your nearest military surplus supplier
Water. The average human needs about 3 litres of water a day to survive, on top of any losses used up during exertion. Plan for at least double that as you will be on the move and under stress. for two days that's 12 litres per person. This weighs 12 kg, and will be the heaviest of your supplies. Creativity is a must. A Camelbak can hold up to two litres. If you will be where you know water will be available but of questionable quality (which during a ZA is anything not bottled by yourself) water purification tablests will let you carry a smaller amount of water on your person and refill whenever possible. In a desert environment you will need to ensure you have all your water on your person.
Transport. During the ZA you will need to move. Any noise will attract the undead, and quiet is a must. Car: too loud and lets face it the roads will be clogged, also filling up will be exposing yourself to unnecessary risk. Motorcycle: good, but not great, you can get around obsticles, but still are too loud, and you need gas. You need transport that is quiet, a rugged mountain bike is ideal, you should have a basket to carry items, as well as a repair kit for breakdowns. In winter skis are perfect.
Self Defence Weapons. The best defence against the hoard is distance. Keep away from any zombies you run into, although there will come times when you need to fight. Firearms are ok, but have disadvantages. Firstly they are loud, get a silencer if legal in your jurisdiction. Small arms are very inaccurate at long distances, so handguns are mainly useful as a close quarters secondary weapon. A hunting rifle, preferably silenced, preferably scoped is ideal. This will allow you to deal with the threat at a distance. Of course you will need lots of ammo, estimate what you think you will need, and then double it. Twice. And it goes without saying that you need to be able to shoot accurately. Practice practice practice, and know that when a zombie is shuffling towards you, you will be scared shitless, and shooting at a quarter of your unpressured accuracy. You will need to hit the attacker in the head, and you need to get the fuck out of Dodge, no matter how silenced you are, you WILL attract more undead. Melee weapons are basically useless, if the zombies get that close to you you have a 19% chance of survival, a machete is best, sharp and military grade (the show pieces break way too easily). This had the advantage of being legal, light weight and easily obtained. Your best bet is to disable the zombie (such as cutting the Achillies' Tendon or Hamstring) and getting away. It is very difficult to behead a freshly converted zombie, and that is not reasonable for an average guy to do in one blow. Never forget that a disabled zombie is still a dangerous zombie, even a severed zombie head can bite
Clothes: You need travel clothes. You want to be well covered, with nothing too long that the cold dead hands can grab (this includes your hair ladies). Dress in layers appropriate for your climate, in places with very distinct seasons like Saskatchewan, make sure you have warm and cold weather outfits.
Once you have a basic kit you must supplement what you can, the UK Special Air Service (think Brittish green berets) survival guide is here
The next part of being ready means being in shape. Fat guys don't get eaten first because they are so much more savoury and delicious (although they are), but because they get caught first. Cardio for when you need to run, and strength training for carrying your gear and when you need to go medieval on a zombie's ass.
uhhh....yeah?
You also need a place to go. Where that is depends on many things, if you have a dumptruck full of money you can buy an island and have a Zepplin on standby to fly you there. If you don't you will need to make do. Your Bug Out Location (BOL) should be:
somewhere you can get to with your available transport in a few days knowing that roads will likely be impassable and zombified
somewhere you can fortify
somewhere people aren't, the less civilians around your BOL the less potential zombies there are
somewhere you can visit BEFORE the ZA, this way you can scout the ground, cache supplies, and prepare fortifications
somewhere you can live off of, your cached supplies can only last so long
somewhere with natural advantages and few natural disadvantages (a forest is bad because the zombies are on you before you realize it, high ground on a plain is good so you can see them from afar)
Lastly your posse.
this is either going to be the best, or the worst zombie apocalypse ever
Humans are social animals and this does not change in a ZA situation. Having a crew will allow you all to carry more supplies, be more vigilant (more eyes watching for threats, having watches while resting), and maximize the skills around. Your group should be no more than 4-8 people. Your group should all know the ZAP inside out and backwards. Your group should have clear roles (a medical specialist, a wilderness survival specialist, a sharp shooter, etc.), and each person should have a basic knowledge of the others roles (as a 100% survival rate is unlikely at best). Your group should be all people who get along and can work together. There should be an equal mix of men and women, and there should be a defined pecking order. Not to say the group is a dictatorship, but in the group there needs to be one person who the others agree makes the final decisions, if a schism happens, the two opposing camps need to resolve their differences or go their seperate ways.
Step #2-Early Warning
If you can get a head start on the sheeple you stand a better chance of surviving. By the time the ZA hits CNN it's too late, and lets face it, mainstream media is slow to figure anything out unless it's about a boy. In a balloon. Anyhow there are warning signs you can observe, but it won't be easy. The government will likely be trying their damnedest to keep things quiet as long as possible so that they and their families can get safe before the panic hits. Keep your eyes open for news reports of strange deaths, people getting shot in the head (often times early recognizers who eliminate zombies are arrested for murder, as if you could murder someone who's already dead), or people who go "crazy" and start "biting people". When you see the talking heads on TV saying that everything is under control, trust me; things are not under control! If you start seeing things about strange epidemics, be ready, if you see that towns/cities are quarantined, you should be ready to leave yesterday. The day you see your first zombie, you should be in your BOL and fortified, and it should be preferably through a sniper scope.Step #3 (hopefully unnecessary)-Surviving in place
If you miss the tell-tale signs and need to bunker up do so. Once the ZA starts, you need the weather the storm. Board over any windows, fortify doors, and if possible get to upper floors and destroy the stairwell. Zombies can climb stairs, but not ladders, they don't have the hand-eye coordination. Keep your head down and make sure you have 2 ways out. If you are stuck at home stash as much water as you can, fill your tub, use the toilet tank, fill any containers you have. 75% of non-zombie related zombie infestation deaths are dehydration related. You can make it up to three weeks without food so long as you are hydrated. When it is safe to do so, get out, and get to your BOL
Step #4 Travelling
As discussed above, travelling should be done as quietly as possible. Noise attracts zombies, zombies get you killed, therefore noise gets you killed. Keep moving, zombies do not move fast, but they don't stop. Ever. So you need to make steady time. The average human walks one kilometer in about 12.5 minutes. It takes a zombie 45-75 minutes to walk a kilometer depending on how freshly converted the zombie is (assuming both legs are functional). Where the zombie makes up for this is no need for rest. To survive you need to keep moving, and rest safely, in places that are fortified, and have multiple exits. When travelling keep in mind that the threats out there are not all zombies. Fauna, weather, and other humans take their toll. The irony of escaping zombies to get mauled by a bear would kill you, except the bear already did.
Step #5 Surving
Once you're at your BOL, you need to fortify (as discussed in Step #3). Then you need to live off the land, there will be no 7-11 or 24 hour pharmacy to bail you out. You need to know what plants you can eat, and how to catch animals. Plant a garden, grow some grain, stock up for the winter. Basically live like a farmer in 1830, but watching for zombies. You will be at your BOL trying to survive until the zombies die out. Based on observed patterns of spread in past outbreaks, it will take about 3 years for the ZA to peak. 95% of the population will be infected within 5 years. It takes roughly 5 years for a zombie to eventually decay away to harmlessness, so you are looking at about 10 years you will need to live at your BOL until the ZA is fading. Does this mean in 10 years you are scot free? Hells no! If you live in places that freeze, the winter freeze will slow the decay process, although during the freeze is a great time to go hunt the frozen solid zombies and destroy them before the spring melt.
And there will be the occasional straggler after 10 years, any one of which could start a second wave of the ZA. Survivors will need to be vigilant and prepared for a new outbreak at any time.
In conclusion
The ZA could happen at any time, survival will be 10% luck and 90% preparation. If you don't want to be zombie chow, you need to prepare now, practice your plan, and be always vigilant.
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