Tip of the Day #1

To: The guy I saw at East Side Marios
Dude. You totally need a makeover. And this is a straight guy saying that.
The long frayed (presumibly unwashed to match your hair) trench coat...Toss that shit in the trash.
Also consider not wearing the wanna be bin Laden beard,

not you

number one because he can grow one it makes him look badd ass (the double d is for the double dose of badd assery), You on the other hand grow facial hair like me. At 12.

thats a little closer

The leather forearm guard

would at least make sense if you were out bow hunting, or in a 1300s English army, or fighting of hoards of undead in Middle Earth. Since none of these things were going on at East Side Mario's all it does is make you look, well honestly, like the kind of person who wears a trenchcoat.

The stupid fucking hat, you're not Indiana Jones, saving shit from nazis. I actually am concerned he's about to fly into this restaurant and disrupt my meal to get Jacob's Ladder safe from Nazi clutches

definately not you

The long greasy locks, not helping with the ladies either (or the men if you swing that way, gay dudes are known for their impeccable hygiene). So to you good sir, the first tip of the day:

Have a bath (yes with soap and real shampoo too, not just zest you lather into your hair)

Get a jacket that is a little less "I'm gonna shoot a middle school up"

Shave, oh god shave.

Consider new friends (yeah I saw them too, but that can be for another day if I think about it)

And try and stay away from the whole Live Action Role Playing Game crowd

trust me, these people do not get down...although the girl in the feather/wings suit is giving off the i give head on the first date vibe. I hope the first date is NOT in costume :s

Follow this simple tip, and although I do not promise miracles, i do believe that you will see a definate increase in friends, job interview successes, dates with women with real jobs and NO furry costumes,

unless of course that's the only reason you do it

As well I promise less visits from the police, and conversations with your mother that end with her sobbing

Good luck anonymous Sir, you are going to need it.