HOW TO TELL WHEN BONEY AND SACHMO HAVE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK

We all know the conventional ways to tell when one is drunk. Unattractive girls are suddenly as hot as your mom, texting your ex girlfriend is a good idea, texting your current girlfriend is a good idea and eating that burrito from 711 has shown the lack of disregard for your personal safety. But like the title says, this is how to tell when Boney and Sachmo are drunk. For all you reader we do not know us (and please reveal yourself in the comment section) we will explain the places and people we run into since you don't exist in our world.

"Jay and Silent Bob" is inevitably put into the DVD player when we get home. The scene with Jason Lee "queuing" the music is played over and over again until we successfully imitate it.

Sometimes we get a little out of hand with the predrinking and end up deciding that the "Green Fairy" needs to come out (no I'm not talking about Boney in a Roughrider baby T).

Most common reaction to Boney in a Riders baby T

I'm talking about *shudder....Absinthe! This stuff is pure evil, you go from being a little buzzed to full blown shit faced. I'm not talking about errrr i'm drunk lets get some BK, I'm talking about the walls are bleeding and I just ate one of my scabs. The first experience I (Sachmo) had with Absinthe was in Lloydminister at Dan's bachelor party. After about 3 shots of this shit we were singing "smoke on the water" and trying to climb his very unstable tool shed. About 3 hours later we were at BP's with a table full of food and I don't remember getting there.It's like kissing your twin sister

After a few drinks we decide to visit our old friend "Gamblor". I'm not going to lie, more often then not Boney and I end up either pretty rich or just even. We have had some good luck on the VLT's which will eventually end at some point. When we don't end up with money is when we decide to play a game called "Beaver Fever" (he he). This game has a great bonus where you can clean up, but most of the time it just takes your money in a matter of minutes. I suggest staying clear of this game and playing some "Alien Attack".

This is the least dirtiest picture I could find when looking up "Beaver Fever"

Many people will disagree with me, but when I'm tipsy and hungry there is nothing better than Sparky's pizza. I have to give a shout out to Derrick (owner), he has put up with a lot of shit from me and still smiles and says "hey man" when I walk in. If I witnessed a customer like me throwing the complimentary mints at Boney while he made out with a fat chick, I may not ask that person to come back. Another person that needs accolades is Janet, she will make us a pie at 2:30 in the morning and not bat an eye. If we are at Sparkey's and we are drunk we are eating a pepperoni pizza with extra sauce :) :) <---- double smile for double sauce.

fold this up, dip it in batter and deep fry it for me good sir

Unfortunately it has come down to this. I do not want to talk about it, but the point of this blog is just to let it all out and deal with the shame after (kind of like my sex life). There is this strip club called "Dancers"....it reeks of tuna fish and daddy's tears. You cannot drink at this club except for outside in the parking lot. After way too many "Jagbombs", Boney and I have a ton of energy and decide this is the best place to visit and regret it the second we get in. There vast menu consist of a girl with a lisp and another girl who's stretch marks could be seen from space. After about 10 minutes and 20 pity dollars we shake our heads and leave only to have a 2 for 1 coupon shoved in our face for the next time (and yes there will be a next time). Embarrassing?....yes.... but plenty of my friends reading this have been there with us...including girls. *side note....there is also a chance you may see someone naked you know. There is not enough wiky in the world to burn that memory from my brain :s....

she wanted to play "find the pizza pop"