BABIES!!!

Ok don't get me wrong, I like babies. They smell bad, burp a lot and do nothing but eat and shit, they are good people. The thing is i'm not excited when I see your baby. It's cute (of course because all babies are cute, if you ever call a baby ugly, you're going to hell). I'll see it, i'll talk about some kind of exit strategy with it but, I don't want to hold it, I don't want to make strange sounds so it will laugh, I don't want to be puked on, I don't want to be told how good I look with a baby etc. etc. I especially don't want to babysit it someday, that's like leaving me in charge of a pepperoni pizza with extra sauce when i'm drunk. It will be OK for a bit, then all of a sudden it's gone. I see the baby, I like it because it has yet to work for me, then i'm good. Someday I may have a child and I will think it's the greatest thing in the world, but I will not expect you to think the same way, because it doesin't matter what anyone thinks about your baby but you. I'll tell you one thing though, I will clean up my babies mess at a restaurant. Cleatus Mc White Trash and his wife (let's call her "arm bruise"), come in after baby cheque day and make a huge mess all over my clean carpets. They get up after leaving the free newspaper under the table, access the pinky finger and scratch their stomachs remarking how "theyhav ha' betta" . Clean up after your damn kid! Does this look like your home? Sorry there are no waste baskets readily available for your farmer style nose candy.....anyway i'm getting off topic here. Babies....I like them....and no matter how hard KD tries I will not be forced to seek them out.