About a week ago I received a "gift" from the corporate guru's at Smitty's head office for the 50th Anniversary Celebration!!!!
"That was the same look on my face"
My initial reaction to opening this box and witnessing what was inside reminded me of Schrödinger's Cat, I immediately closed the box.
at least it wasn't Witten's Dog
Frightened, I realised if I wanted to know if this is good or bad I would have to observe it again. Now don't get me wrong it is very nice, and according to the letter that came with this Chinese uhhhh ship, it is handmade. I stared at it for awhile and of course imagined myself as the captain of this ship in my GI Joe uniform. Yes just me and my crew of Asian strippers, so I tell Tits Carrere that my pants are chaffing me.....wait, I'm going to get myself in trouble here. Anyway this abomination now sits in my office and reminds me of that gift Mr. Burns gave the Simpson's family, not as big, but just as useless. I don't understand what this has to do with a breakfast place? I don't know much about this type of thing, but what can I get for it on E-Bay? Should I re-gift this thing and watch the reaction as this innocent person tries to accept the gift with a smile? I have no idea, i'm just going to call it the "Spruce Goose" and sail it to Amsterdam with Boney.
"I said get in"
Once we reach Amsterdam and get very high I'm sure I will figure out why the hell they sent me this contraption. Either that or I will puke all over it because I have never actually smoked a joint. One time I did try when I was wasted at a staff party and put the wrong end in my mouth, subsequently burning my tongue (But that doesn't count).
Somebody call 911, Shawty fire burning on the dance floor
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