Bermuda Triangle Toilet

SPOILER: the following post is about a poop if this offends you TFB

So I'm on my way to work, after just having a delicious lasagna from Trifon's, and something wasn't right. Something in the combination of the just woken up, the massive amounts of coffee from working nights the night before, the walking around, and the just ate all came together. It clicked. It was magic.
Driving in my little golf cart I call a car, my stomach rumbles, louder than the radio. I immediately burn a U-Ball in order to get my ass home ASAP.

like this, only less cool, and with more peristalsis

I can barely think anymore, although I do know a few things:

1. 
   
   My ass is ready to explode
2. 
   
   I have 4 maybe 5 minutes tops
3. 
   
   If I don't get home, and I have to unleash this unholy terror in a public bathroom, it's technically a contravention of the Geneva Code
   
   
   

And trust me, you DO NOT fuck with the U.N.

  

Naturally I hit every red light I can on the way home. And naturally I'm stuck behind the old man in a hat driving a Buick Le Sabre going 35. It's tight, but I make it home. maybe T-Minus 1 minute... I run up the stairs... 45 seconds... pull out the keys... 40 seconds... The keys are tangled in a Key-Knot!

Christ Almighty! A Key-Knot! Why are they so indistinct?!?!

Fumble with the keys, get the house key out....35 seconds...Shit! forgot about the deadbolt, thank god it's the same key...25 seconds...trip over the dog...15 seconds...down the hall...

10 seconds...hit the can...

9...pants down...

8...toilet paper, there's none!...

7....pants up...

6...out the door...

5...frantically grab new roll...

4...back on toilet...

3...sudden horrifying realization...

2...stand up...

1...pants down, sit down

sweet Jeebus it burns!

It was without a doubt the most horrifying bathroom experience I've ever had. That being said, I've never been in the stall next to former Senator Larry Craig (which I imagine would be worse). Minutes feel like hours, but the terrifying ordeal finally ends. I get up, and look down, fully expecting to see one or both of my kidneys in the bowl. Instead I find...

Nothing.

I don't get it, clearly everything is as if an epic dump happened...the stink, the wipe, the plop, even the sweet relief, but there's nothing there!

Never will the Bermuda Triagle toilet mystery be solved, and frankly, just like how magnets work, it's probably best if humanity never solves the mystery.

It has been way too long

So here are things that made me laugh

 

Fuck it's been awhile....I got lazy....eat me.

Since there is 20 more days until the Rider's destroy Montreal, I figured I should start blogging again because there will be plenty of ranting during the regular season. I had a dream the other night we beat them 51-6. That is not bloody likely but a boy can dream. There has never been a season like this before. I pretty much have all the confidence in the world we will be in the final, and that worries me. Life is a bitch, and it seems whatever you expect is going to happen, never does. For example just this morning Durant hurt his finger in training camp....Gasp! It's not serious from what I hear but regardless I hope it's not another one of "those" seasons. Frankly I have had enough with the drugs, criminals, distention in the locker room, injuries, too many men, Cal "Fucking" Murphy and the Stupid Colts and especially Henry Burris.

"Wow Cal! How did you find this diamond in the rough (<---tee hee), it's not like he was the CFL defensive player of the year or anything you tool."

So Chicago won the "Stanley Cup" last night. I am not a fan but I say "good for them". The last time they won a cup was 1961, and that is way too long....wait for it....Unless it's the Toronto Maple Leafs! Bwahahahahaha they have the distinction of being the team with the longest cup drought, and I for one could not be happier!!

"I think you can guess my answer"

What the hell is with this weather? Ummm hello, stop raining!!!! I undersand there are lots of places that would die for this rain, in that case mother nature could spread it around a little bit. I am trapped inside all winter, and that's OK with me because I like to be inside but this is getting ridiculous. Hopefully this crappy weather is all happening at once therefore July and August will be amazing.....ugh.....why did I say that.

"Wha.......what was I saying about rain?"

Boney's CFL West preview- Defence

So at the rate I'm going there is no way I can do positional breakdowns of Ds in time for the season, and my offensive positional breakdowns are hilariously out of date and obsolete already (see my receivers breakdown call the recently released Johnny Quinn as the top backup import receiver...fail) so let's get it out of the way in one big go.
BC Lions
The Lions have had a top end D for a while, but are suffering losses steadily over the last few years. Cam Wake, Rickey Foley, and Barron Miles are all gone. Brent Johson is getting older and less effective. Davis Sanchez was added from Montreal, but Dirty Davis is losing steps by the year, although remains effective, and a ratio buster. BC struggled at LB last year, with only Anton McKenzie being standout. BC looks to struggle with consistency, but should do all right.

Q: How do you make up the loss of a guy named after a pee-hole tube?

A: With a guy named after a deviant Screetch-Approved coprophilic act.

PS-It took me a long time to find a picture I was happy to put on the blog. Also I do not suggest google imaging "dirty sanchez". Ever.

Calgary Stampeders

So for the last few years Calgary has ridden on the strength of it's offence. Looking at their defensive players, the first ones to jump out are the self-proclaimed best shutdown corners in the league, Dwight Anderson and Brandon Browner. They are pretty good corners, but they get away with a ton of PI and get called with a lot as well. After that there are a bunch of young guys who may or may not step up and mediocre journeymen. This is the reality of a cap system when you burn a ton of your cap on O. Where there will be problems is if (when) the offence struggles. And unless something happens to their O-Line (as discussed in an earlier post), the O will struggle at times.

 

Pictured: Brandon Browner

Edmonton Eskimos

Well Edmonton is another team that loads up the cap on O, although unlike Calgary, they decided to go with one expensive QB and no one else. This freed up some money for D so they promptly overpaid Mo Lloyd (an excellent, but not 230 000 excellent LB). Other than that I like getting Anthony Malborough, and Dario Romero has been a solid DL for years. After that I see a lot of meh and OK guys.

The official T-Shirt of the 2010 Edmonton Eskimos Defence

Saskatchewan Roughriders

Well the Riders overhauled their D due to some losses. Chick, Baggs, and Williams to the NFL and Eddie Davis to retirement. Barrin Simpson steps into Rey Williams old spot (until/if Rey comes back from Pittsburgh) Lance Frazier should slide over into Davis' old spot (and he is MORE than capable) and Chris McKenzie showed excellent in backing up last year should take over Frasier's side HB. Where this D will be made or broke is who they find to replace the DEs. Will a new guy come in on fire? Will one of the vets from last year step up? How will Etch adjust his D to not having dominant rush ends....or were the end's production a product of the system? Either way I see the Riders having a good year on D to go with their excellent year on O.

John Chick announces his signing with Indy:

The second biggest kick to Rider Fan`s crotches since November 29, 2009

Boney's CFL West Preview-Receivers

The last offensive position is receivers. Let's take a look...
BC Lions
84 Arceneaux, Emmanuel WR Import
83 Armstrong, Derick WR Import 
87 Binder, Nate WR Non-Import
82 Black, Steven WR Import
13 Bolden, Dominic WR Import
18 Chapdelaine, Matt WR Non-Import
76 Foster, Akeem WR Non-Import
85 Jordan, Robert WR Import
80 Passmore, Darius WR Import
86 Reed, Kerry WR Import
89 Scott, Terence WR Import
74 Washington, Tony WR Import
19 Jackson, Paris SB Non-Import
81 Simon, Geroy SB Import
88 Wilson, O'Neil SB Non-Import

BC has a pretty solid starting corps, Simon has been one of the most productive receivers in recent memory, but is getting old, and is reportedly making somewhere around $200 000. The same can be said for Paris Jackson. Arcenault is a middle of the road import and Derrick Armstrong is a good good receiver. Depth is a bit of an issue as no one else on the roster has produced huge, but some of the younger guys are  certainly capable of stepping up. As far as non imports go, Jackson is good, O'Neill Wilson is OK. Then it gets thin.
 

I'm using this much of your cap!

 Calgary Stampeders
43 Watson, Derek *

83 Bryant, Romby *
Forzani, Johnny
87 Franklin, Arjei 
Givens, Louis *
89 Jackson, Jermaine *
Keels, Ronald *
Kelly, Ron
81 Kruger, Blaine
82 Lewis, Nik *
Lowe, Jonathan *
24 Murphy, Deon *
11 Ralph, Brett
85 Rambo, Ken-Yon *
Sam, P.K. *
Talley, Landan *
3 Thelwell, Ryan
*=import
Calgary has been known for it's receiving corps for years, but this off season they traded Jermaine Copeland for PK Sam. Sam is a decent younger receiver, but still a step down from Cope's production. I see Sam getting more yards than Cope this year, mainly due to Toronto sucking. Ken-Yon Rambo is looking to have a comeback year after an injury plagued season, and he certainly has the talent to do so. Nik Lewis is always near the top of the league in receiving yards as well. This is a dangerous dangerous crew. Non-Import wise it is thin. Brett Ralph is a 5th/6th receiver type, Arjei Franklin is as well. Thellwell is fading, and that's about it. If the Stamps have to go with more imports on the O-Line, they might be a bit hamstrung in receiver if they have to play Ralph and someone else for ratio reasons.
I want to see Jermaine Jackson #89 do well for obvious reasons

His haircut is PIMP

Edmonton Eskimos

82 Burgess, Rudy WR Import

84 Challenger, Kevin WR Non-Import
87 Green, Skyler WR Import
80 Hill, Efrem WR Import
88 Nowacki, Andrew WR
73 Wuthrich, Kevin WR Non-Import
81 Barnes, Jason SB Import
8 Peterson, Kamau SB Non-Import
85 Rector, Jamaica SB Import
86 Smith, Brad SB Non-Import
2 Stamps, Fred SB Import
9 Talbot, Andre SB Non-Import 
 Well Fred Stamps is pretty good. Kamau Peterson had an off year, and if he doesn't step up, he could be getting done. Recter Green and Hill have potential, but have yet to produce consistently. Canadians wise Peterson heads up the corps,

tattooage is questionable mind you

and then there's Andre Talbot, a solid pickup from the Argos who can step into the 5th spot. Edmonton is not the strongest receiving corps, but Ray can make them produce better than their talent level.

Saskatchwan Roughriders
6 Bagg, Rob WR Non-Import

77 Eley, Dwayne WR Import
87 Fairooz, Aaron WR Import
86 Gilchrist, Jeremy WR Import
84 Koch, Cary WR Import
75 Love, Aaron WR Import
18 McKoy, Dave WR Non-Import 
81 Quinn, Johnny WR Import
2 Rodriguez, Prechae WR Import
76 Waldie, Aaron WR Import
82 Clermont, Jason SB Non-Import
7 Dressler, Weston SB Import
83 Fantuz, Andy SB Non-Import
89 Getzlaf, Chris SB Non-Import
Best receiving corps in the league gets stronger.  The Riders added Prechae Rodriguez, giving them the big, fast wide receiver to complement the RCAF of Fantuz, Bagg, Getzlaf, and Clermont. Then you have to add in the pint-sized, all results Weston Dressler. Beyond the starters there are a bunch of guys trying to make a name for themselves, Johnny Quinn is leading the race to back up Rodriguez, although some of the new guys could step up and be involved. On the non import side, Dave McKoy needs to finally do something or stop taking up a roster spot.
This team is going to score a lot of points!

get used to seeing this

Boney's Stanley Cup Pick

Well, I most certainly failed quite epically in my conference finals picks, my teams going 1-8. Well, here it is, the big enchilada

oh baby

The Hawks versus the Flyers. Everything points to Chicago in this one, they have better everything than Philly. The only thing Philly has going their way is a hot goalie, but I don't think Leighton can withstand the onslaught. Rather than doing the obvious Forwards, Defence, Goalie, I looked at what team would be the most annoying to me to win, and, because God hates me and my sports teams, the team that will piss me off the most will win. Guaranteed.

 

I told you he was an Asshole

Most "Shoot me in the face I hate that asshole" player

This is a tight one, Chris Pronger is a son of a bitch. I don't like him. He does nothing but piss me off, he's the prototypical "love him on your team, hate him everywhere else"  player. I can't wait until he retires so I don't have to hear McGuire sucking his cock every game he calls. That being said, he is an excellent villan and fun to hate. The Hawks Dustin Byfuglin is getting so much credit for nothing. Fuck you you asshole, you are big, good for you, if you weren't on such a great line, you'd be nothing. NOTHING!!! Look how shitty Jonathon Cheechoo is, he's scored what? 5 maybe 6 goals since he got pulled from Joe Thornton's line, and he won the fucking Rocket Richard trophy!

You see how you scum

You are nothing. Which one would piss me off the most? Byfuglin, because Pronger already has won a Stanley Cup.

Advantage, Chicago

Most detrimental to the integrity of the game

If the Flyers win, that is some major Bullshit (that's right, with a capital B).

You know what? Capitalize the whole damn thing!

Chicago is an excellent team, and deserving of the championship. Philly just plain sucks, and deserves the asskicking Chicago should in all fairness provide

Philly evens up

To break the tie:

Whose fans piss me off more and deserve shit all?

This one is easy. As arrogant and fairweather as the Chicago fans have been

OH look, we're good, now we'll sell out the arena

NOTE good on the 12 500 who showed up thick or thin...IN A CITY OF 9 700 000

Philly's fans do shit like attack the CBC van broadcasting the game, and vandalize Montreal reporter's cars (due to the Quebec licence plate). Then the dumbasses boast about it on Facebook and get busted.

Congrats Philly, you are going to win the Cup just to piss me off.

 

"Did you love the irony of Montreal getting hurt by Too Many Men calls...BWA HA HA HA"

Boney's CFL West Preview- OL

Next we look at the Hogs, the boys in the offensive trench, the unsung heroes that open lanes for the running back, give the quarterback time to throw, or run. These are certainly giants among men

BC Lions
Angus Reid (N)
Dean Valli (N)
John Hamesteir-Reiss(N)
Darren Heerspink (N)
Jason Boone (I)
Damane Duckett (I)
Sherko Haji-Rassouli (N)
Justin Sorensen (N)
Adam Baboulas (N)
Andrew Jones (N)
Jovan Oliafaye (I)
Dan McCullough (N)
BC used to have the best O-Line in the west anchored by Moore and Jimenez, now both those tackles are gone. Reid and Hadji Rassouli are solid in the middle, the tackles are talented but raw. Depth is an issue for the Leos, but they should be OK at worst on the line as long as they stay healthy. Injuries can really really hurt this team mind you.

Calgary Stampeders
Sam Allen (I)
Ben Archibald (I)
Randy Chevrier (N)
Dan Comiskey (N)
Godfrey Ellis (N)
John Gott (N)
Edwin Harrison (I)
Rob Lazeo (N)
Steve Myddleton (N)
Jesse Newman (N)
Tim O'Neill (N)
Matt Sheridan (N)
Calgary lost 3/5 of their starting OLine. They then signed John Comiskey, who promptly retired due to injuries, so they signed his older brother Dan. It's tough to say how Calgary will be. Lazeo is top half in the league, Jesse Newman is both good and young, Ben Archibald is servicable. How will old man Comiskey fare? How will last year's backups do? How will the new guys do? Either way a lot of turnover on the o-line where chemistry is so important. I think Calgary will struggle this year on the o-line, Burris's mobility and Reynold's pure skill can mask some troubles, but won't cover it all up.

Edmonton Eskimos
Aaron Fiacconi (N)
Patrick Kabongo (N)
Kyle Koch (N)
Adam Rogers (N)
Calvin Armstrong (I)
Joe McGrath (N)
Greg Wojt (N)
Gord Hinse (N)
Clifford Louis (I)
Jeremy Parquet (I)
Taylor Inglis (N)
Kabongo is an excellent lineman. McGrath is average at best, Fiacconi is iffy, Armstrong is OK.
Edmonton will struggle, the only reason they aren't known as more terrible is Ray's quick release buys them a lot of slack.

Saskatchewan Roughriders
Jeremy O'Day (N)
Kelly Bates (N)
Chris Best (N)
Gene Makowsky (N)
Marc Parenteau (N)
Belton Johnson (I)
Wayne Smith (N)
Joel Bell (I)
Dan Clark (N)
Dan Goodspeed (I)
Nick Hutchins (N)
Joel Rempel (N)
Jonathan St-Pierre (N)
Jocelyn Frenette (N)
The Riders have O'Day and Makowsky, CFL Hall of Famers when they choose to retire, Dan Goodspeed, perennial all star, Wayne Smith, one of the most dominant O-Lineman when healthy, Joel Bell the man-mountain. That's my projected starting lineup. Backing up; Belton Johnson, Kelly Bates, Marc Parenteau provide very capable depth, along with St Pierre as heir apparent for O'Day Rempel Hutchins Best all have potential to develop into something else, but honestly are a year to two away.  One or more of these guys could be traded away for help, but as it stands the Riders are hands down the best O-Line in the west, between them and Montreal it's tough to get a hands down best in the league, and valid arguments for both teams can be made.

Boney's CFL West Preview-Runningbacks

Well after looking at the pivots, now we stick with the backfield. The running back, carryer of the rock, blocker of the blitz...uh...purchaser of O-Line suppers?

BC LIONS-
Yonus Davis (I)

Mickey Dean (I)

Andrew Harris (N)

Jamall Lee (N)

Jerome Messam (I)

Jamal Robertson (I)

Lyle Green (N)

After the last few years where the Lions have had backs like Stefan Logan, Martell Mallett, Joe Smith, etc etc etc things look lean in Vancouver. Jamal Robertson is the starter by default right now, he's had some OK years, but will never set the league on fire. Jamall Lee could be a ratio buster if he can ever wrest the starter's job. Other than that not much I can see, maybe one of the no-names can come out of nowhere to be a sensation, although it's tough to have faith in a guy named Yonus or Mickey

the next rushing champion, guaranteed!

Calgary Stampeders

Jon Cornish (N)

Rob Cote (N)

Rafael Little (I)

Joffrey Reynolds (I)

Derek Watson (I)

Well Calgary starts with the best back in the league in Reynolds although the thinness behind him is evident. Cote is Calgary's Stu Foord (more on him later), Cornish is servicable, and Watson and the ninja turtle I haven't heard of. Calgary's running game comes down to Reynolds and tops in the league or a bunch of guys and being just enough to establish the running game enough to pass.

my game is as huge as my head

Edmonton Eskimos

Dennis Kennedy (I)

Calvin McCarty (N)

"Razor" Ramonce Taylor (I)

Arkee Whitlock (I)

Graeme Bell (N)

Mathieu Bertrand (N)

Chris Ciezki (N)

Well Whitlock had 1000 yard season last year, earning the title "worst 1000 yard back ever" from me. Perhaps he will prove me wrong. but I just don't see it, I have no faith in the boy. McCarty is a servicable backup, and when he's in the ratio can be juggled. Bell and Bertrand are solid FBs and special teamers. As much as in BC the starter's job is up for grabs, and I'm cheering for Razor Ramonce

Something happen to my fumble...Something happen to you!

Saskatchewan Roughriders

Wes Cates (I)

Hugh Charles (I)

Dominique Dorsey (I)

Stu Foord (N)

Lavernius Giles (I)

Neal Hughes (N)

Chris Szarka (N)

Marcus Thigpen (I)

Cates was the only tailback to not get 1000 yards rushing last year, although he was hampered by injuries to himself and his o-line. Like Edmonton and BC the starters job is open. Giles is a monster and runs like it, although he blocks like a 90 lb girl. Thigpen is quick, but I think in tough to get past the practice roster. Charles showed well but not great last year while Cates was injured. Foord Hughes and Szarka are likly the best FB corps in the league providing both blocking, change of pace rushes, and solid special teams play (yeah yeah Foord is a tailback, but he fits the bill). Dorsey should (I hope) be mostly saved for exclusive special teams use. A spirited battle for the starters spot should lead to a hungry starter.

Boney's Round 3 PIcks

EAST
Montreal v Philly
Well well well, who'd have thunk it? Habs and Flyers Two teams who just can't be knocked out of these playoffs. The Habs have the two best forwards in this series in Cammaleri and Gionta, although Philly has more depth and consistency from seondary scorers. If Markov can get healthy, he is the best defenceman in the series, although Pronger has upped his play significantly this post season, and has been playing well (although I am waiting for the inevitable breakdown of bad penalties and giveaways). Philly leans on it's top 4 D, Montreal spreads it around a lot more evenly, and if Markov can get back, and Gill can play good minutes the Habs have excellent depth on the blueline. In net Philly is working on their 3rd string goalie, who hasn't played in 3 months prior to the last 3 games. He's played excellent...but....

Halak has been superhuman. And I don't see it ending yet. Philly tries to goon their way to the finals, but in the end

Habs in 6

West

San Jose v Chicago

Chicago is quickly turning into what Pittsburgh had been, the young exciting up and coming team. San Jose, has maybe this year to peak before the best before date on their core of players (although this gets said the last 3 years). Both teams have 4 excellent lines. Both teams have 4 excellent lines. Both teams have solid goaltending. Key for Chicago is get to Nabokav early and often, try and shake his notorious confidence. The key for San Jose is neutralizing Byfuglian in front of the net and not letting Toews and Kane skate circles around them. This series is going to go 7 excellent games, my head says Chicago, my heart says San Jose. My head is 3-7 my heart is 2-0 (GO HABS!), I'm going with my heart.

Sharks in 7

Revisting Boney's Round two Picks

EAST

Pittsburgh v Montreal



Pittsburgh got roughed up by Ottawa, but eventually prevailed, Montreal stormed back against Washington on the strength of Jaro "Superman and Batman rolled into one" Halak
How do you score on this goalie?

I think Montreal has a real good chance so long as Halak stays hot, and Halak will stay hot

Yeah...That hot

Boney's fearless pick...

Habs in 6...mmm sacrilicious

Epic epic win!

Boston v Philly



I really hate these two teams. I hate them so bad. Although Boston Baked Beans and Philly Cheesesteaks are both delicious, I can't stand their hockey teams. I see them as fairly evenly matched, but I think the return of Marc Savard pushes Boston over the top...
Bruins in 7

WEST

San Jose v Detroit

God I hate Detroit. I hate this team so bad, and they never lose. Christ why don't they ever lose? Detroit knows how to win and San Jose has never been past the 2nd round. Detroit is clutch, San Jose just got a little clutch once...

 

Wings in 6

Chicago v Vancouver

Chicago is a Stanley Cup calibre team, but they have some injuries most notably Brian Campbell and top PK man John Madden. Vancouver is thin on D but their D men have been playing very VERY well. The Sedin line is the best line in the series, and Luongo is the best goalie...For my first non-original 6 pick...

Canucks in 6 (bring back the yellow logo!)

Boney's Pre-Preseason CFL West Division Preview-Quarterbacks

Well. It's almost that time. That magical time of year I call CFL Preseason. Everyone knows their team has the chance to win the Grey Cup (well, not Toronto fans, but screw them)

Take that Toronto fans! EPIC!

Anyhow, starting today we look at the offences of the CFL West, position by position. Today, the pivotal pivot.

Quarterback

BC Lions

Casey Printers, Jarious Jackson, Travis Lulay

Wally is going the Doc Brown school of quarterback recruiting, going Back to the Future

You think Warren Moon is available?

Casey Printers has had a good year. MOP and all that, only problem is that it was years ago, and since then he has had 3 good games. All last year. All losses. Jarious Jackson is a meathead

stay outta Riverdale!

Lulay is a third stringer, has seen limited action and, as all 3rd stringers are, is a project. Another arm or two would be likely for training camp.

Calgary Stampeders

Henry Burris, Barrick Nealy, Drew Tate

Oh christ, Burris. 

The loquacious one is another year older, and another playoff choke behind him. Burris has always been a stats guy, with high stats, and questionable results. I think this might be the year we start seeing the age factor with ol Hank, especially with the loss of Copeland and 3/5ths of his starting offensive line (which we'll cover in a future post).

So expect more of this:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLE!

The only downside to Hank's eventual retirement is that i give it about 10 seconds before TSN hires that blowhard to be on the panel. A future TSN broadcast including Rod Black, Milt Stegall and Henry Burris is the closest thing to hell on Earth. Unless TSN hires Chris Walby and Shawn Millington, in which case, fuck it, I'll listen to the radio.

Anyhow, in regards to the backups Nealy hasn't looked terrible, but I have no faith in him, I think Tate could end up being a better CFL QB. And I say this in full knowledge that Tate is terrible. I have no reasoning for this other than football intuition and my dislike of Nealy's stupid beard.

  

Seriously Dude, do yourself a favour and get a Mach 3 and shave the Amish right off

Also another arm or two for training camp wouldn't hurt.

Edmonton Eskimos

Ricky Ray, Jason Maas, Jared Zabransky

Well Ricky Ray used to be clutch, now he's known mainly for:

• 
  
  Not throwing the ball farther than 10 yards
• 
  
  Not leading game winning/clinching drives anymore
• 
  
  His big stupid face 
• 
  
  Being oh so fabulous on the beach

Wrong Ricky

I figure Ray has jumped the shark, and barring a magical year, he could be gone from Edmonton (How's that for a bold prediction?). I don't see anyone superb catching the ball, and his supporting cast is suspect at best.

Jason Mass is another old quarterback known for his big stupid face. Mass had some good years in Edmonton, but let's be honest, he had guys like Terry Vaughn, Mookie Mitchell,  Ed Hervey catching the ball, and he had Mike Pringle carrying the rock. Since then he sucked hard in Hamilton and has done nothing in round two with the Esks. He needs to be gone.

Zabransky looks like a good little project for QB, and IMHO is the 2nd best QB on the team (and is pushing Ray), in his limited time he's looked good. The Esks also need an arm or two for camp.

Saskatchewan Roughriders

Darian Durant, Steven Jyles, Graham Harrell, Dalton Bell, Cole Berquist, Kent Smith

Durant is the face of this offence, and looking like a future face of the league. With the strongest supporting cast is the West, there are no excuses. Durant has to play at or above the level he ended last year. If he does this team could break records. Yes I am saying DD could throw for more than 6619 yards. There I said it. I also think he could throw for 50 TDs. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's likely, or that it definately will happen. But it sure could. Also the team could score more than 698 points.

The Motherfucking Man

Cole Berquist, I admit I never pay attention to at practice, but he obviously impressed the coaching staff enough that they didn't feel the need to overpay Jyles to stay, they cut Harrell, and dealt Bell to TO. His college stats are impressive, and he's in the same vein as Durant so should fit in well.

Kent Smith reminds me of Keith Smith (just in the name). Keith Smith sued the Riders to release him so he could play in the XFL, remember the XFL?

Pictured: Not Keith Smith

Other Keith Smith trivia: He was one of three rookie QBs on the riders in 2001, the others; Kevin Glenn and Ramon Robinson. Keith Smith the ex-riders QB is NOT one of the 12 Keith Smith's who have their own Wikipedia page. Keith Smith started 6 games for the Riders in '01 but broke his ankle and snapped his achilles in Hamilton (ugly, ugly injury). Keith Smith was on Edmonton`s IR when they won the 2003 grey cup (in Regina). The Riders are expected to sign either Ryan Dinwiddie (BOO!) or Todd Reising (YAY!) for training camp.

Boney's Round 2 Picks

EAST

Pittsburgh v Montreal

Pittsburgh got roughed up by Ottawa, but eventually prevailed, Montreal stormed back against Washington on the strength of Jaro "Superman and Batman rolled into one" Halak

How do you score on this goalie?

I think Montreal has a real good chance so long as Halak stays hot, and Halak will stay hot

            Yeah...That hot

Boney's fearless pick...

Habs in 6...mmm sacrilicious

Boston v Philly

I really hate these two teams. I hate them so bad. Although Boston Baked Beans and Philly Cheesesteaks are both delicious, I can't stand their hockey teams. I see them as fairly evenly matched, but I think the return of Marc Savard pushes Boston over the top...

Bruins in 7

WEST

San Jose v Detroit

God I hate Detroit. I hate this team so bad, and they never lose. Christ why don't they ever lose? Detroit knows how to win and San Jose has never been past the 2nd round. Detroit is clutch, San Jose just got a little clutch once...

Wings in 6

Chicago v Vancouver

Chicago is a Stanley Cup calibre team, but they have some injuries most notably Brian Campbell and top PK man John Madden. Vancouver is thin on D but their D men have been playing very VERY well. The Sedin line is the best line in the series, and Luongo is the best goalie...For my first non-original 6 pick...

Canucks in 6 (bring back the yellow logo!)